(Sun, Aug 06, 2006)
What a ridiculous movie! Terrible! There never was a movie sequel more fond of its predecessor. It studiously reenacts many scenes, retells many jokes, rewinks many eyes at we the groaning audience. And it does this for like seven hours; I couldn't believe how bored I was by the time it ended. I barely even noticed the cliff-hanger I was so thrilled to finally leave.
(Mon, Aug 14, 2006)
Nobel laureate Gunter Grass admits he was Nazi Schutzstaffel! Even other Nazis were creeped out by those dudes.
(Wed, Aug 16, 2006)
Every year some maniac sends me an HD-DVD (sometimes it's a Blu-Ray just for shits and giggles) full of all the shiny new television pilots for the upcoming fall season. I've by now managed to consume most of them, and nothing really stands out the way "Lost" did two years ago (and nothing did last year), but there are a few with promise, and two where the pilot alone is better than anything Hollywood has produced so far this year. Here's some micro-reviews in descending order of unsuckiness:
Dramas:
Friday Night Lights (NBC)
I never saw the movie, and I can't say if the NBC series will be worth watching, but the series pilot kicks enormous ass. It's a self-contained, self-sustaining entertainment module all on it's own, with a good story, good writing, a beautiful soundtrack by Explosions in the Sky, and even some decent acting.
The Black Donnellys (NBC)
Another case where the pilot alone is a complete self-contained entertainment module that's better than most movies. From the creators of the movie "Crash", it's about four working-class Irish brothers in New York City who get into a bit of a conflict with the Italian mafia (and each other). The sequence at the end of the pilot (set to an Arcade Fire song) is awesome. When the credits came up I yelled out, "that was awesome!" Because it was awesome.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
A behind-the-scenes type drama (like Sports Night or Larry Sanders or my personal favorite that ever nobody's heard of, The Newsroom) about a Saturday Night Live type show. Interesting characters and setting, definitely worth checking out.
Heroes (NBC)
A bunch of seemingly unconnected people suddenly discover they have super-powers. Wow! There's also this one guy who seems to know how or why, a-and a shadowy government agency (which will probably be called the NSA), and lots of other junk too. This one seems pretty good though. I like the Japanese guy who can control the space-time continuum.
Traveler (ABC)
An on-the-run Fugitive type series: two dudes are pursued by the laws for a terrorist attack they didn't commit. And their friend -- who they've known all through college -- might actually be guilty of it. The two dudes seem smarter than the feds chasing them, which is a little bit annoying, but it seems pretty solid and probably worth checking out.
Jericho (CBS)
Ka-Boom! It seems the country has been nuked or something -- there's limited information -- and the town of Jericho KS is suddenly all on its own. Luckily there's this one guy who can do *anything* and knows about *everything*. (I suspect it's Doctor Who in disguise.) The rest of the characters are uninteresting though; maybe their dire situation will wrangle some personality out of them. And the whole thing has a CBS family kind of feel to it that makes me feel a little sick. But hey, end of the world apocalyptic wasteland, I love the genre! What are the odds the series runners have read Lucifer's Hammer?
The Shark (CBS)
James Woods jumps into my television in order to play a cutthroat defense attorney transplanted to the DA's office (for instantly forgettable reasons). There's lots of law-tv shit flying around, yawn, and James Woods doing that thing that he does, cool, and Jeri Ryan (aka 7 of 9) doing whatever it is she does. Meanwhile there's the divorced-father-reconnecting-with-estranged-daughter theme that's been flaring around like a meme virus lately. The whole thing seems a little flimsy, and maybe a waste of Woods' abilities.
Kidnapped (NBC)
A formulaic kidnapping story, generally solid. I can't imagine how they'll stretch this out into a series: I was anxious for a resolution by the end of the pilot.
Runaway (CW)
Another on-the-run Fugitive type series: a family is pursued by the laws for a murder the husband-father didn't commit. Or did he? And also again, the husband-father seems smarter than the feds chasing him. I found the children annoying as they tried to fit into their new town and not betray their secret; and I have a feeling that's going to be the main conflict for this series.
The Nine (aka Nine Lives) (ABC)
The beginning is kind of cool, kind of dissonant; a group of people are taken hostage in a bank -- then suddenly the show cuts to "52 hours later", and it remains unknown what exactly happened in there. (Apparently the first 10 minutes of every episode will reveal more of what happened, which is a pretty flaky gimmick if you ask me.) Cool for the beginning, but then... holy boring piece of boring boredom! I was tempted to drill a hole in my skull just to relieve the yawning. Get away!
Sitcoms:
Knights of Prosperity (ABC)
A funny sitcom about some blue-collar guys who decide to become criminals. Mick Jagger is hilarious in this (no fooling).
The Singles Table (NBC)
A funny sitcom that wants to be the new "Friends". Apparently it's been dropped by NBC though.
The Class (CBS)
An unfunny sitcom that wants to be the new "Friends". Terrible!
Our Thirties (ABC)
Three days after watching this I can't recall a single detail (except that it wants to be the new "Friends").
The Angriest Man in Suburbia (CBS)
An unfunny sitcom that needs to die die die.
Dramas:
Friday Night Lights (NBC)
I never saw the movie, and I can't say if the NBC series will be worth watching, but the series pilot kicks enormous ass. It's a self-contained, self-sustaining entertainment module all on it's own, with a good story, good writing, a beautiful soundtrack by Explosions in the Sky, and even some decent acting.
The Black Donnellys (NBC)
Another case where the pilot alone is a complete self-contained entertainment module that's better than most movies. From the creators of the movie "Crash", it's about four working-class Irish brothers in New York City who get into a bit of a conflict with the Italian mafia (and each other). The sequence at the end of the pilot (set to an Arcade Fire song) is awesome. When the credits came up I yelled out, "that was awesome!" Because it was awesome.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
A behind-the-scenes type drama (like Sports Night or Larry Sanders or my personal favorite that ever nobody's heard of, The Newsroom) about a Saturday Night Live type show. Interesting characters and setting, definitely worth checking out.
Heroes (NBC)
A bunch of seemingly unconnected people suddenly discover they have super-powers. Wow! There's also this one guy who seems to know how or why, a-and a shadowy government agency (which will probably be called the NSA), and lots of other junk too. This one seems pretty good though. I like the Japanese guy who can control the space-time continuum.
Traveler (ABC)
An on-the-run Fugitive type series: two dudes are pursued by the laws for a terrorist attack they didn't commit. And their friend -- who they've known all through college -- might actually be guilty of it. The two dudes seem smarter than the feds chasing them, which is a little bit annoying, but it seems pretty solid and probably worth checking out.
Jericho (CBS)
Ka-Boom! It seems the country has been nuked or something -- there's limited information -- and the town of Jericho KS is suddenly all on its own. Luckily there's this one guy who can do *anything* and knows about *everything*. (I suspect it's Doctor Who in disguise.) The rest of the characters are uninteresting though; maybe their dire situation will wrangle some personality out of them. And the whole thing has a CBS family kind of feel to it that makes me feel a little sick. But hey, end of the world apocalyptic wasteland, I love the genre! What are the odds the series runners have read Lucifer's Hammer?
The Shark (CBS)
James Woods jumps into my television in order to play a cutthroat defense attorney transplanted to the DA's office (for instantly forgettable reasons). There's lots of law-tv shit flying around, yawn, and James Woods doing that thing that he does, cool, and Jeri Ryan (aka 7 of 9) doing whatever it is she does. Meanwhile there's the divorced-father-reconnecting-with-estranged-daughter theme that's been flaring around like a meme virus lately. The whole thing seems a little flimsy, and maybe a waste of Woods' abilities.
Kidnapped (NBC)
A formulaic kidnapping story, generally solid. I can't imagine how they'll stretch this out into a series: I was anxious for a resolution by the end of the pilot.
Runaway (CW)
Another on-the-run Fugitive type series: a family is pursued by the laws for a murder the husband-father didn't commit. Or did he? And also again, the husband-father seems smarter than the feds chasing him. I found the children annoying as they tried to fit into their new town and not betray their secret; and I have a feeling that's going to be the main conflict for this series.
The Nine (aka Nine Lives) (ABC)
The beginning is kind of cool, kind of dissonant; a group of people are taken hostage in a bank -- then suddenly the show cuts to "52 hours later", and it remains unknown what exactly happened in there. (Apparently the first 10 minutes of every episode will reveal more of what happened, which is a pretty flaky gimmick if you ask me.) Cool for the beginning, but then... holy boring piece of boring boredom! I was tempted to drill a hole in my skull just to relieve the yawning. Get away!
Sitcoms:
Knights of Prosperity (ABC)
A funny sitcom about some blue-collar guys who decide to become criminals. Mick Jagger is hilarious in this (no fooling).
The Singles Table (NBC)
A funny sitcom that wants to be the new "Friends". Apparently it's been dropped by NBC though.
The Class (CBS)
An unfunny sitcom that wants to be the new "Friends". Terrible!
Our Thirties (ABC)
Three days after watching this I can't recall a single detail (except that it wants to be the new "Friends").
The Angriest Man in Suburbia (CBS)
An unfunny sitcom that needs to die die die.
(Wed, Aug 16, 2006)
Since firearms were banned in the UK, common-sense criminals turned to using swords and knives as substitute weapons. Gruesome! No worries: Brit-Gov has decided to ban those too. Now only specially licensed shops will be able to sell the restricted blades, which include lock knives, machetes, swords, meat cleavers, bayonets, and axes, to licensed customers for restricted purposes. Whew! Good thinking.
Except... Well it's just that now the criminals will have to find something new to threaten their victims with. Cricket bats for instance. Rakes, shovels, brooms, icepicks. Broken bottles. Oh well, I'm saying is all. Sorry to mention it.
Except... Well it's just that now the criminals will have to find something new to threaten their victims with. Cricket bats for instance. Rakes, shovels, brooms, icepicks. Broken bottles. Oh well, I'm saying is all. Sorry to mention it.
(Thu, Aug 17, 2006)
A loyalist sent this info: Slate has posted blog-roundup column called " Meet Joe Blackface"; apparently some genius posted a photo of Joe Lieberman in photoshopped blackface, and so some group of loudmouths is louding mouthing and so forth.
Bah to them all! Fie I say!
This is the original Joe Blackface:
Yes, that's right, not that stupid Brad Pitt movie. Damn it!
Bah to them all! Fie I say!
This is the original Joe Blackface:
Yes, that's right, not that stupid Brad Pitt movie. Damn it!
(Thu, Aug 17, 2006)
Way back in the long-long-ago (in the before-time) there was Zork -- a series of text-based adventure games that blah blah blah. [Ed: go look it up on Wikipedia] Meanwhile there were the Joe Stories, which maybe four people know about and probably only two of us remember. Joe Stories concerned a goofball protagonist named Joe Blackface who got himself into all sorts of trouble purely at the discretion of his several authors: one author wrote the first paragraph, passed the notebook to the second author, and so on. It was a sort of evolving multi-author fiction (with a tendency toward the lewd and violent). That was in the mid-80s or something. Some of those stories still exist somewhere but not here.
What if -- said some guy I don't know -- we could combine these two concepts: a multi-author choose-your-own-adventure framework, sort of a wiki for fiction. That's what Extend-A-Story does; check out some examples: The Never Ending Quest (old but still living), or Jack's Sofa (new). I'm sure yet, but this seems worth the time required.
Incidentally, you can play many (all?) of the old Infocom games (Zork, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, etc) online right here. You can also download the compiled story files and play them in an interpreter like Frotz. You can also-also get lots of other stories from The Interactive Fiction Archive or from this guy. Or check out what's going on in IF at XYZZYnews. There, public service ends.
What if -- said some guy I don't know -- we could combine these two concepts: a multi-author choose-your-own-adventure framework, sort of a wiki for fiction. That's what Extend-A-Story does; check out some examples: The Never Ending Quest (old but still living), or Jack's Sofa (new). I'm sure yet, but this seems worth the time required.
Incidentally, you can play many (all?) of the old Infocom games (Zork, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, etc) online right here. You can also download the compiled story files and play them in an interpreter like Frotz. You can also-also get lots of other stories from The Interactive Fiction Archive or from this guy. Or check out what's going on in IF at XYZZYnews. There, public service ends.
(Sun, Aug 20, 2006)
Lots of big names showing up at Worldcon this year (World Science Fiction Convention). They mostly submit their own bio blurbs, which makes it interesting to see what they wrote about themselves. Compare Greg Bear with Greg Benford for example. Or anyone with Harlan Ellison. I love that Walter Koenig credits his Babylon 5 character before Star Trek's Chekov. And that Ronald D. Moore is too cool now for any blurb at all (or else he missed the deadline). And that Jerry Pournelle's blurb is actually humble. All in all I think George R.R. Martin's blurb is about right. What a strange word, "blurb".
(Mon, Aug 21, 2006)
This is just a memo to myself because I keep forgetting what this program is called. The Gnome Configuration Editor is gconf-editor. There. Done now.
(Tue, Aug 22, 2006)
I hate synchronicity. Check out this Wired News article on text adventure games and IF.
(Wed, Aug 23, 2006)
On the other hand, here's a perfect reason why multi-author Interactive Fiction probably can't work without active moderation. I've asked it before but it's worth repeating: "Why all the idiots? Why?"