(Thu, Sep 01, 2005)
I guess Hobbes was right, given what's apparently happening in New Orleans: rampant looting, carjacking, raping, gunfights, shooting at rescue workers. Americans suffer from the conceit that behavior like this only happens in 3rd World countries; if so, the line between 1st and 3rd is frighteningly narrow.
(Thu, Sep 01, 2005)
At what point has Wikipedia gotten too big? I don't know that, but I do know I like this list of offensive terms per nationality because there are lots of terms here with which I was unfamiliar, and I do so enjoy being offensive.
Some are peculiar, like "Mexicans" used by the Scottish for the British (from south of the border, get it?) -- although I'm not sure to whom this is offensive: Brits, that they should be compared to Mexicans; or Mexicans, that their nationality should be an implied insult. And others aren't really offensive, like "Yankee", "Aussie", or "Redcoat".
I don't know where I first heard this joke, but hey that reminds me of a joke! There's two military officers, one French, one British, doing whatever who cares. The Frenchman asks why the British used to wear those red coats. "So the men don't lose heart," says the Brit, "seeing their comrades and officers covered with blood." "Ah," says the Frenchman, "we have a similar origin for our brown trousers." Hahahhahaha. Ah...hum.
Some are peculiar, like "Mexicans" used by the Scottish for the British (from south of the border, get it?) -- although I'm not sure to whom this is offensive: Brits, that they should be compared to Mexicans; or Mexicans, that their nationality should be an implied insult. And others aren't really offensive, like "Yankee", "Aussie", or "Redcoat".
I don't know where I first heard this joke, but hey that reminds me of a joke! There's two military officers, one French, one British, doing whatever who cares. The Frenchman asks why the British used to wear those red coats. "So the men don't lose heart," says the Brit, "seeing their comrades and officers covered with blood." "Ah," says the Frenchman, "we have a similar origin for our brown trousers." Hahahhahaha. Ah...hum.
(Sat, Sep 03, 2005)
Would it be intemperate to criticize the behavior of storm victims? I don't mean the looters of television sets and the rapists of huddled helpless masses -- those should be disposed of expediently -- but the people who lived next to that broken canal wall, the ones whose lives and possessions depended on that thing holding back the water. Given 48 to 72 hours foreknowledge of what was then a category five storm tracking right through their town, the well-documented inadequacy of the levees and canal walls right next to their homes, and assuming that they were aware of the above (*I* would have been if I lived there), why then did none of them take the initiative to at least *try* to bolster the only barrier between their lives and property and the certain disaster looming upon them? I don't know if a buttressing of sandbags would have be enough to keep the wall from breaking, but I have to believe I would have tried it. Hadn't these people ever heard the parable of the Dutch boy who saved his town by sticking his finger in the hole in the dyke? But then we've all come to expect *government* to take care of every problem for us.
(Mon, Sep 05, 2005)
It's almost amusing watching the rats scurry in the wake of the flood. State and local politicians heap mounds of scorn and blame upon GWB and his DHS avatar Michael Chertoff for not responding quickly enough; the Feds, obviously itching to return the lambaste downward, instead delay, claiming now's the time for relief, then's the time for acrimony and resignation (and ah the layers of puns he's slamming down today). As if somehow any single person could wrest the haunches of bureaucracy up out of the toxic filth and into tractability while Louisiana was passively making the Aegean stables look like a bathtub. Sure! The system is all kinds of broken. We're all learning this now? We're all surprised by this? We're all indignant that the monster we've created refuses to walk well? Well, I'm confused, so I'll just listen to the music play:
Wake of the flood, laughing water, forty-nine,
Get out the pans, don't just stand there dreamin'
Get out of the waaay, get out of the waaay,
Here comes sunshine! Here comes sunshine!
Wake of the flood, laughing water, forty-nine,
Get out the pans, don't just stand there dreamin'
Get out of the waaay, get out of the waaay,
Here comes sunshine! Here comes sunshine!
(Tue, Sep 06, 2005)
For the past few months I've been using this in-air mouse as a remote control for my media pc, and I guess I'm 90% happy with it. Sometimes it wonks out and stops working, presumably due to interference, but usually a trip from the couch to the receiver is enough to wonk it back in. While searching for a couch-controller I decided to go with an actual mouse rather than a television style remote mainly for simplicity and versatility -- it does what I need it to do without any configuration settings.
(Sat, Sep 10, 2005)
The latest Economic Freedom of the World report is out, and for free-market libertarians, this thing is like a manifesto. It seeks to measure "the degree to which countries rely on voluntary exchange and markets rather than taxes, government spending and regulations to allocate goods and resources." (See summary.)
Hong Kong is at the top, followed by Singapore, with New Zealand, Switzerland, and the U.S. tied for third. Interestingly, the U.S. is down .3% since GWB took over. The longitudinal charts also indicate that the 1970s were a kind of dark ages for economic freedom -- things are actually much better now.
Possibly most enlightening are the charts indicating that economic freedom parallels per capita income, economic growth, employment, life expectancy, literacy, political rights, civil liberties, political stability; while low economic freedom seems to negatively impact mortality, child labor, corruption, etc. The report also indicates that economic freedom, rather than democracy, plays a key role in reducing violent conflict between nations.
Hong Kong is at the top, followed by Singapore, with New Zealand, Switzerland, and the U.S. tied for third. Interestingly, the U.S. is down .3% since GWB took over. The longitudinal charts also indicate that the 1970s were a kind of dark ages for economic freedom -- things are actually much better now.
Possibly most enlightening are the charts indicating that economic freedom parallels per capita income, economic growth, employment, life expectancy, literacy, political rights, civil liberties, political stability; while low economic freedom seems to negatively impact mortality, child labor, corruption, etc. The report also indicates that economic freedom, rather than democracy, plays a key role in reducing violent conflict between nations.
(Sun, Sep 11, 2005)
Envious of ABC's success with Lost, the other dinosaur networks are airing SF (S as in Speculative, not so much Science) series this fall: There's Threshold on CBS, and Surface on NBC (not to mention Invasion on ABC, which I won't). Since I'm a famous critic I get to review them here:
Threshold
The first thing one notes about Threshold is that one of the producers is Brannon Braga, part of the bumbling duo who drove the final stake into the Star Trek franchise, so immediate expectations are dour. Click "play" nonetheless. We are instantly forced to infer that Braga &c think we can't tell the difference between a CGI ocean freighter and a real one. Continue watching nonetheless. A huge blip on the radar screen! Nobody looking at it?! What pretty spirally patterns it makes! But the ship seems to be coming apart, so we breathlessly race down to the starboard rail with the rest of the crew in order to witness... well it's kind of cool actually, this thing that's out there hovering over the roiling ocean. It kind of looks like that spooky puzzle box from the Hellraiser movies, only really big.
Cut to our presumed heroine, a government "contingency analyst" who is far too young and attractive for her purported profession. (Believe me, I've met people who do that job, and these guys [sic] don't look like that. But then there *was* this one girl with NORAD....) Accompanied by her bulldog, she's rudely helicoptered to brief the NSA bigwigs on her "Threshold" contingency (first contact). And once more we must groan in agonized complaint: just what does the Entertainment Industry think the NSA does? (Hint to Braga &c: this aint it.) Everybody is alarmed because a gigantic outer space bogey was observed making course corrections before wandering down to Terra Aqua. They want Protag to tell them what to do if it's hostile. She tells them to turn to page 42 in her briefing, the section titled "What To Do If We're Screwed".
But anyway, it's time to recruit the rest of the cast: Lt. Cmd. Data from Star Trek Next Gen has been biomorphed into a renowned -- if beleaguered -- biologist (who wonders if they're getting paid for all this); and then there's a midget who wants to go back to the hookers he left at home (too bad -- the NSA guys will *kill* him if he tries to quit on them), a rocket scientist who believes in God (and probably Intelligent Design too, just like Oppenheimer); and a rambo, who was just sort of filling in the gaps. The quality of the performers is relatively high in fact, although they're surprisingly less entertaining than it seems they ought to be. Undeterred, they all crowd into some uber-helicopters and get themselves out to freighter zero.
There follows some stuff and some more stuff, mostly silly fake science (involving fractals as usual) and the sounds of guns equipped with sound-amplifiers, then some revelations about the intentions of the visitors, etc. Time to wake up and click "next".
Surface
This one used to be called Fathom but they had to change the name because some other thing was also called Fathom so now it's called Surface. It's aimed at a younger audience, and has a non-coincidental ET feel to it: cue the 3/4 time violin soundtrack for the cozy suburban waltz. First though, the USS Ronald Reagan has been dispatched to Antarctica in order to rescue a recently missing nuclear sub. What's this? The crew is missing? Not to worry, the civilian scientist knows what's going on. In fact, he's been expecting it. Meanwhile, in another part of the ocean on a deep-sea exploration mission, our young, attractive heroine, all bottled up in a mini-sub like I Dream of Jeannie, encounters a gigantic beast that almost kills her with some kind of organic EMP. It's a new species of underwater vertebrate! she insists later. It's a sea monster! insists her colleague, Professor Know-It-All. Meanwhile in an entirely different ocean (there's a lot of meanwhiles in this program -- it jumps around a lot), some bubbas have a run-in with something similar; one of them decides to stick a tethered harpoon into it, and gets all Ahabed, much to the sad lament of his brother. Finally, some teenagers are night-waterskiing, and one of them gets left behind in the dark dangerous water (to the general amusement of his friends). Yikes, was that a *fish*? I aint never seen nothin' like that before!
It seems people everywhere have been encountering unusual sea life, and it's up to our young, attractive heroine to figure out what it is. Unfortunately the NSA (of course!) is trying to cover it all up; there may, after all, be national security at stake. This apparently is enough for a court order to commandeer Protag's marine research facility (stupid Patriot Act!): "This is a restricted area," she's told by a NG trooper at the gate. "But I work here!" she insists indignantly. "Oh, okay." So much for security. Inside the building there's lab coats and BDU's running around (although everything is mysterious, like what they could possibly be doing), and at the heart of the activity is Dr. Cirko (played by Rade Serbedzija, best known by me from the fantastic Macedonian film *Before the Rain*). He's a brilliant scientist with a brilliant scientist accent working with the Feds, and he seems to know who Protag is. He gives her a clue or two then has her ushered back to her car. Now that's plotting!
Meanwhile there's the young teenager who adopts one of these newfangled sea creatures as a pet. It's kind of disgusting and very creepy, and recently scared the crap out of Lil' Protag, but he adopts it anyway. (Presumably in a future episode it will develop a craving for Reeses Pieces, or perhaps an entirely new snack product set for prime-time launch.) Lil' Protag has lots of time to hang out with Sea T because he's recently been grounded for ocean mischief with his friends. "At least your parents care enough about you to punish you," says his buddy. Now that's dialogue!
And there's other stuff and some more stuff, but I usually hate anything written for children, so I wasn't able to pay attention very well. Click "stop".
Threshold
The first thing one notes about Threshold is that one of the producers is Brannon Braga, part of the bumbling duo who drove the final stake into the Star Trek franchise, so immediate expectations are dour. Click "play" nonetheless. We are instantly forced to infer that Braga &c think we can't tell the difference between a CGI ocean freighter and a real one. Continue watching nonetheless. A huge blip on the radar screen! Nobody looking at it?! What pretty spirally patterns it makes! But the ship seems to be coming apart, so we breathlessly race down to the starboard rail with the rest of the crew in order to witness... well it's kind of cool actually, this thing that's out there hovering over the roiling ocean. It kind of looks like that spooky puzzle box from the Hellraiser movies, only really big.
Cut to our presumed heroine, a government "contingency analyst" who is far too young and attractive for her purported profession. (Believe me, I've met people who do that job, and these guys [sic] don't look like that. But then there *was* this one girl with NORAD....) Accompanied by her bulldog, she's rudely helicoptered to brief the NSA bigwigs on her "Threshold" contingency (first contact). And once more we must groan in agonized complaint: just what does the Entertainment Industry think the NSA does? (Hint to Braga &c: this aint it.) Everybody is alarmed because a gigantic outer space bogey was observed making course corrections before wandering down to Terra Aqua. They want Protag to tell them what to do if it's hostile. She tells them to turn to page 42 in her briefing, the section titled "What To Do If We're Screwed".
But anyway, it's time to recruit the rest of the cast: Lt. Cmd. Data from Star Trek Next Gen has been biomorphed into a renowned -- if beleaguered -- biologist (who wonders if they're getting paid for all this); and then there's a midget who wants to go back to the hookers he left at home (too bad -- the NSA guys will *kill* him if he tries to quit on them), a rocket scientist who believes in God (and probably Intelligent Design too, just like Oppenheimer); and a rambo, who was just sort of filling in the gaps. The quality of the performers is relatively high in fact, although they're surprisingly less entertaining than it seems they ought to be. Undeterred, they all crowd into some uber-helicopters and get themselves out to freighter zero.
There follows some stuff and some more stuff, mostly silly fake science (involving fractals as usual) and the sounds of guns equipped with sound-amplifiers, then some revelations about the intentions of the visitors, etc. Time to wake up and click "next".
Surface
This one used to be called Fathom but they had to change the name because some other thing was also called Fathom so now it's called Surface. It's aimed at a younger audience, and has a non-coincidental ET feel to it: cue the 3/4 time violin soundtrack for the cozy suburban waltz. First though, the USS Ronald Reagan has been dispatched to Antarctica in order to rescue a recently missing nuclear sub. What's this? The crew is missing? Not to worry, the civilian scientist knows what's going on. In fact, he's been expecting it. Meanwhile, in another part of the ocean on a deep-sea exploration mission, our young, attractive heroine, all bottled up in a mini-sub like I Dream of Jeannie, encounters a gigantic beast that almost kills her with some kind of organic EMP. It's a new species of underwater vertebrate! she insists later. It's a sea monster! insists her colleague, Professor Know-It-All. Meanwhile in an entirely different ocean (there's a lot of meanwhiles in this program -- it jumps around a lot), some bubbas have a run-in with something similar; one of them decides to stick a tethered harpoon into it, and gets all Ahabed, much to the sad lament of his brother. Finally, some teenagers are night-waterskiing, and one of them gets left behind in the dark dangerous water (to the general amusement of his friends). Yikes, was that a *fish*? I aint never seen nothin' like that before!
It seems people everywhere have been encountering unusual sea life, and it's up to our young, attractive heroine to figure out what it is. Unfortunately the NSA (of course!) is trying to cover it all up; there may, after all, be national security at stake. This apparently is enough for a court order to commandeer Protag's marine research facility (stupid Patriot Act!): "This is a restricted area," she's told by a NG trooper at the gate. "But I work here!" she insists indignantly. "Oh, okay." So much for security. Inside the building there's lab coats and BDU's running around (although everything is mysterious, like what they could possibly be doing), and at the heart of the activity is Dr. Cirko (played by Rade Serbedzija, best known by me from the fantastic Macedonian film *Before the Rain*). He's a brilliant scientist with a brilliant scientist accent working with the Feds, and he seems to know who Protag is. He gives her a clue or two then has her ushered back to her car. Now that's plotting!
Meanwhile there's the young teenager who adopts one of these newfangled sea creatures as a pet. It's kind of disgusting and very creepy, and recently scared the crap out of Lil' Protag, but he adopts it anyway. (Presumably in a future episode it will develop a craving for Reeses Pieces, or perhaps an entirely new snack product set for prime-time launch.) Lil' Protag has lots of time to hang out with Sea T because he's recently been grounded for ocean mischief with his friends. "At least your parents care enough about you to punish you," says his buddy. Now that's dialogue!
And there's other stuff and some more stuff, but I usually hate anything written for children, so I wasn't able to pay attention very well. Click "stop".
(Mon, Sep 12, 2005)
Check out my new Google ad at the bottom of the page. Oh boy, now the money will roll right in! It's temporary of course; my real ambition is to set up about a hundred content-oriented websites (like song lyrics -- can never have enough song lyrics sites) all catering to impulse buyers. Harken ye Saints of Commerce, thine Industry I avail! Hmm... websites.... Um.... Well.... Hmm....
(Mon, Sep 12, 2005)
It seems the first term Google Adsense has decided is most marketable for this page is "Star Trek". (My money was on "Economic Freedom" but what do I know?). As the content here tends to wander around, it should be interesting to see what it comes up with in the future. I'm not sure what the results will imply about me or the junk that crosses my keyboard though, if anything. I wish there were an anti-Adsense service that would pick out the least marketable terms so that I could try to plot troughs along with the peaks. A sort of marketability percentage for the whole page would be excellent. I wonder if the api supports something like that...?
As to my new business scheme, I still haven't come up with any very profitable website ideas (and I've been thinking really hard!), but I think I've narrowed down the approach. It should be something people need a constant supply of, something that isn't yet perfected, and something they might use the internet in order to acquire. Toothbrushes for instance. I could create Toothbrush-O-Rama or Clean Teeth Tech dot commode, and put like toothbrush reviews up there, or feed in toothbrush Google alerts for content. (That's a good idea, feed in content straight from Google alerts, that way I won't have to do anything at all....)
Or cigarettes; I wonder if cigarettes are Adsense verboten? Yup, it looks like they are. Beer? Malt Liquor? Nope, no adSense results (contextual non(ad)sense). Oh, but try Viagra why not?! (Crap, how much you want to bet my next ad term will be Viagra now?) (Did you know Viagra is in the MS Word dictionary?) (Uh-oh, that's three times I wrote Viagra -- four times! Come and get it!)
Which kind of reminds me of that context highlighting the Fox News website was using for a while. You would search for something like "nuclear bombs" and there would be an ad link on the results page reading something like "Shop here for nuclear bombs!" God I loved that. Still haven't used any of them though.
As to my new business scheme, I still haven't come up with any very profitable website ideas (and I've been thinking really hard!), but I think I've narrowed down the approach. It should be something people need a constant supply of, something that isn't yet perfected, and something they might use the internet in order to acquire. Toothbrushes for instance. I could create Toothbrush-O-Rama or Clean Teeth Tech dot commode, and put like toothbrush reviews up there, or feed in toothbrush Google alerts for content. (That's a good idea, feed in content straight from Google alerts, that way I won't have to do anything at all....)
Or cigarettes; I wonder if cigarettes are Adsense verboten? Yup, it looks like they are. Beer? Malt Liquor? Nope, no adSense results (contextual non(ad)sense). Oh, but try Viagra why not?! (Crap, how much you want to bet my next ad term will be Viagra now?) (Did you know Viagra is in the MS Word dictionary?) (Uh-oh, that's three times I wrote Viagra -- four times! Come and get it!)
Which kind of reminds me of that context highlighting the Fox News website was using for a while. You would search for something like "nuclear bombs" and there would be an ad link on the results page reading something like "Shop here for nuclear bombs!" God I loved that. Still haven't used any of them though.
(Wed, Sep 14, 2005)
Google is launching a new blog searching service for some reason. Previously this was the domain of Technorati and similar sites, some of which I've spent several minutes using. Is this a big profit area now? Who would have guessed.
(Wed, Sep 14, 2005)
I've recently reinstalled Windows (actually I've installed a fresh one onto a different partition -- my reasons are my own!) and as is usual with a brand new installation I'm in massive optimization mode. Wasted disk, wasted CPU cycles, wasted RAM, wasted network, useless services, unappealing visual effects -- all these things piss me off right now (and will continue to do so until I feel winrot has taken over, at which point I'll stop caring since I'll start thinking about a fresh install, after which the whole thing starts all over again). So I've been hunting around for things to be pissed off about, and I found this "Adobe Reader Speed Launch" link sitting smugly in my Startup folder, as if it had a right to be there, as if I had authorized this gross violation of the Executable Code Permissions Act (enacted by me the day I realized people generally suck).
This "Adobe Reader Speed Launch" comes with the most recent Adobe Reader, and apparently makes the Reader start up faster, presumably by caching some (or all) of its code into RAM. Adobe Reader is, unfortunately, a required application, but it's not something I usually load very often. I certainly don't want a chunk of it consuming RAM all the time. Which -- honestly now -- just pisses me off. How can these guys be so arrogant as to believe that my precious and jealously guarded memory resources are at their disposal to use at will without so much as a simple request for my consent? This is intolerable behavior. It was intolerable when Creative did it with their crappy application bundles -- which is why I refuse to install anything but drivers from those guys (which I do because their hardware and drivers don't suck; it's just their "value-added" junk that can go sink down into the mud of contemptuous ignominy), and it's even more intolerable for an application I don't even use very often.
Oh, and Adobe can also take their Yahoo toolbar link and cram it up there where AOL put all of their unwanted crap.
Oh, and am I the only one who felt bad about killing all those little dudes in Halo?
This "Adobe Reader Speed Launch" comes with the most recent Adobe Reader, and apparently makes the Reader start up faster, presumably by caching some (or all) of its code into RAM. Adobe Reader is, unfortunately, a required application, but it's not something I usually load very often. I certainly don't want a chunk of it consuming RAM all the time. Which -- honestly now -- just pisses me off. How can these guys be so arrogant as to believe that my precious and jealously guarded memory resources are at their disposal to use at will without so much as a simple request for my consent? This is intolerable behavior. It was intolerable when Creative did it with their crappy application bundles -- which is why I refuse to install anything but drivers from those guys (which I do because their hardware and drivers don't suck; it's just their "value-added" junk that can go sink down into the mud of contemptuous ignominy), and it's even more intolerable for an application I don't even use very often.
Oh, and Adobe can also take their Yahoo toolbar link and cram it up there where AOL put all of their unwanted crap.
Oh, and am I the only one who felt bad about killing all those little dudes in Halo?
(Thu, Sep 15, 2005)
Since installing a fresh OS I've returned to using MS Office over OpenOffice. The simple reason is that Word loads twice as fast as Writer. This is intolerable! The arrogance of these guys, loading slower than their chief competitor! It was intolerable when WordPerfect loaded slowly and it's intolerable now, especially for an application I use all the time. Um... okay then?
(Fri, Sep 16, 2005)
As part of my thesis on Sub-Sub-Genres (SSGs) for my Sub-Generic degree in Overclassification Systems I've been spending some time on the Frustrated Hostile Aliens SSG (subclassed from Aliens > Hostile, Aliens > Advanced, and Military > Conflict). The arrangement of this SSG typically involves a race or group of technologically sophisticated, militaristic (imperialist, imperiled, or religious) extraterrestrials encountering Earthlings for the first time (First Contact > Hostile), often following a period of observation. The aliens (often a predator species who wage war as a cultural expression) attack the humans (often in the form of Military > Conflict > Invasion > Earth), and are immediately or eventually surprised and dismayed by the puny humans' superior capacity for doing violence and waging total war. The moral of these stories is usually either "don't mess with the hairless apes" or "we are the true predators" depending upon authorial viewpoint.
A recent entry in this SSG is Harry Turtledove's Worldwar, a series of novels that also extends the History > Alternate subgenre. The premise is that during World War Two the Earth is invaded by an advanced race of hostile reptilian imperialistic space aliens, and humanity must put aside its internecine conflict in favor of combating this common foe.
In order to maximize the aliens' surprise at the level and quality of human resistance, Turtledove has employed the Relativistic Observation trope in which signals from scouts or probes return noncurrent data to the observers; in this case images of armor-clad, sword-wielding warriors hacking their way through iron-age Europe. Based on these data (and since their own race has evolved at a glacial pace in comparison to humanity) the aliens are supremely confident of an easy conquest. Much of the story from the aliens point of view then involves the commander of the invasion fleet wringing his hands and muttering to himself over the humans' stubborn refusal to conform to his battle plans. They display a capacity for ingenuity and adaptability not encountered on the worlds of the aliens' previous conquests, and worst of all, they've begun adapting salvaged or stolen pieces of the aliens' technology to their own use. Not the least of which is highly enriched uranium.
Another problem for the aliens is that a particular herb found on Earth (ginger) has proven an addictive and debilitating narcotic to their physiology (a Lotus Eaters trope), and is gaining widespread use among the fleet. Aliens suffering from ginger addiction are less attentive to their duties; rather than concentrating on killing humans they spend most of their time either lazily enjoying the pleasant effects of the drug or desperately attempting to procure more of it. But how to explain the rising popularity of this substance? It could be because the climate of the heavily industrialized continents of Earth's northern hemisphere (the primary targets of the revised invasion plan) is distinctly uncomfortable for the invaders. The Homeworld is rather warmer than Earth. And this frozen precipitation the humans call "snow" is enough to make even the fiercest space lizard seek comfort and escape in whatever way possible.
These factors, along with limited supplies and little production capacity, combine to thoroughly sap the morale of the invasion fleet, and expose the alien commander to the risk of a no-confidence vote by his staff officers (due to a Ritualized Hierarchy trope) which could lead to his humiliating replacement by an arrogant rival. Time is short due to the impending arrival of an alien colonization fleet that was scheduled to leave the Homeworld a few years after the military departure, optimistically assuming the successful conquest of their new colony world. If those ships should arrive before the humans are thoroughly subjugated then all of their heads will roll (Time > Short).
And finally there are the humans. If Worldwar had been limited to the aliens' point of view it might have been quite good, but unfortunately most of it concerns human characters, and these characters are -- at the risk of derailing my scholarly detachment -- remarkably annoying, exceedingly dull, and universally unlikable. If fact, the utter tediousness of these characters is the cause of Turtledove's most interesting innovation with this series of novels: unlike every other Aliens > Hostile work I can recall, his is the only instance in which the reader ultimately finds himself rooting for the aliens.
A recent entry in this SSG is Harry Turtledove's Worldwar, a series of novels that also extends the History > Alternate subgenre. The premise is that during World War Two the Earth is invaded by an advanced race of hostile reptilian imperialistic space aliens, and humanity must put aside its internecine conflict in favor of combating this common foe.
In order to maximize the aliens' surprise at the level and quality of human resistance, Turtledove has employed the Relativistic Observation trope in which signals from scouts or probes return noncurrent data to the observers; in this case images of armor-clad, sword-wielding warriors hacking their way through iron-age Europe. Based on these data (and since their own race has evolved at a glacial pace in comparison to humanity) the aliens are supremely confident of an easy conquest. Much of the story from the aliens point of view then involves the commander of the invasion fleet wringing his hands and muttering to himself over the humans' stubborn refusal to conform to his battle plans. They display a capacity for ingenuity and adaptability not encountered on the worlds of the aliens' previous conquests, and worst of all, they've begun adapting salvaged or stolen pieces of the aliens' technology to their own use. Not the least of which is highly enriched uranium.
Another problem for the aliens is that a particular herb found on Earth (ginger) has proven an addictive and debilitating narcotic to their physiology (a Lotus Eaters trope), and is gaining widespread use among the fleet. Aliens suffering from ginger addiction are less attentive to their duties; rather than concentrating on killing humans they spend most of their time either lazily enjoying the pleasant effects of the drug or desperately attempting to procure more of it. But how to explain the rising popularity of this substance? It could be because the climate of the heavily industrialized continents of Earth's northern hemisphere (the primary targets of the revised invasion plan) is distinctly uncomfortable for the invaders. The Homeworld is rather warmer than Earth. And this frozen precipitation the humans call "snow" is enough to make even the fiercest space lizard seek comfort and escape in whatever way possible.
These factors, along with limited supplies and little production capacity, combine to thoroughly sap the morale of the invasion fleet, and expose the alien commander to the risk of a no-confidence vote by his staff officers (due to a Ritualized Hierarchy trope) which could lead to his humiliating replacement by an arrogant rival. Time is short due to the impending arrival of an alien colonization fleet that was scheduled to leave the Homeworld a few years after the military departure, optimistically assuming the successful conquest of their new colony world. If those ships should arrive before the humans are thoroughly subjugated then all of their heads will roll (Time > Short).
And finally there are the humans. If Worldwar had been limited to the aliens' point of view it might have been quite good, but unfortunately most of it concerns human characters, and these characters are -- at the risk of derailing my scholarly detachment -- remarkably annoying, exceedingly dull, and universally unlikable. If fact, the utter tediousness of these characters is the cause of Turtledove's most interesting innovation with this series of novels: unlike every other Aliens > Hostile work I can recall, his is the only instance in which the reader ultimately finds himself rooting for the aliens.
(Fri, Sep 16, 2005)
One source of entertainment cartridges for millions of Americans (and non-Americans too for all I know, but who cares about those guys?) has been running this campaign claiming they've eliminated late fees. But if you return your copy of Barb Wire late they charge you a "restocking" fee for it. Which is different, it is.
Speaking of that virtuoso Pamela Anderson, she's just published her new novel. That's what I said, her new novel. Which is -- incidentally, for all you illiterate freaks -- her second novel. According to a press release, this one should firmly reinforce her reputation as a thinking-person's Paris Hilton.
Speaking of that virtuoso Pamela Anderson, she's just published her new novel. That's what I said, her new novel. Which is -- incidentally, for all you illiterate freaks -- her second novel. According to a press release, this one should firmly reinforce her reputation as a thinking-person's Paris Hilton.
(Fri, Sep 16, 2005)
Rome: HBO has already ordered a second 12-episode season of Rome, which is even better than good to hear. I can still hardly believe in it: a television drama that doesn't assume its audience is composed of idiots. Wild, fantastical, unprecedented!
Deadwood: Meanwhile, there are lots of Emmy nominations for Deadwood, which means not much, but it might drive more audience to the show. I could imagine my mother watching it: kind of like Beefy Lou eating health food (which might prove a decent source for antimatter).
Incidentally, I read somewhere (Warren Ellis maybe?) that the swearing in Deadwood is exaggerated a step or two beyond what is historically accurate, but that back then words like "crap" or "damn" had the same usage and impact as today's profanity. The show intends more to capture the *spirit* of the period rather than the *fact*.
Rescue Me: Could this show have ended its season on any more of a downer? I guess it's classed a "comedy-drama" but I sort of prefer the comedy part over the dead children.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: This sitcom is setting new records for twisted subject matter (picking up girls at abortion rights rallies, pretending to have cancer, playing with handguns, child molestation for self-esteem and profit). It's also extremely funny.
Deadwood: Meanwhile, there are lots of Emmy nominations for Deadwood, which means not much, but it might drive more audience to the show. I could imagine my mother watching it: kind of like Beefy Lou eating health food (which might prove a decent source for antimatter).
Incidentally, I read somewhere (Warren Ellis maybe?) that the swearing in Deadwood is exaggerated a step or two beyond what is historically accurate, but that back then words like "crap" or "damn" had the same usage and impact as today's profanity. The show intends more to capture the *spirit* of the period rather than the *fact*.
Rescue Me: Could this show have ended its season on any more of a downer? I guess it's classed a "comedy-drama" but I sort of prefer the comedy part over the dead children.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: This sitcom is setting new records for twisted subject matter (picking up girls at abortion rights rallies, pretending to have cancer, playing with handguns, child molestation for self-esteem and profit). It's also extremely funny.
(Wed, Sep 21, 2005)
I don't read much fantasy anymore, especially that crap with elves and trolls and wizard staffs and so on, but somehow I'm still stuck reading every Robert Jordan "Wheel of Time" novel that thumps onto my doorstep. It's like a cigarette habit: they're bad for you, cost too much, and you don't even really like them anymore, but somehow you can't stop. Please make it stop already! Stop the madness. Anyway, Knife of Dreams (Book 11) is due Oct. 11. And guess what: Publisher's Weekly promises that something actually happens in this one.
So why not release Book 11 on 11/11? Maybe because Nov 8 is the scheduled release date for the long-long-awaited latest "Song of Ice and Fire" book by George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows. (I'm generally less reluctant to admit I read this series than the Jordan junk, since it's more like alternate history than fantasy.) I actually ordered this thing back in 2002; the pub date kept getting pushed until settling at "When it's done", and the book began to seem the vaporware of fantasy novels. Apparently it ended up being so long (and incomplete) that Martin's publisher insisted they break it into two volumes and release the half that was ready. Here's Martin's explanation.
Finally, if you prefer Space Opera to Sword Opera, the new (also long-awaited) title in David Weber's Honor Harrington series, At All Costs, is due Oct. 25. This is also a Book 11 (minus spin-offs) for that series. And I heard there's a television series planned too. Or maybe a movie. Or maybe that was just Angelina Jolie's character in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Or maybe that was just a rip-off (sorry, an homage). Or maybe nobody really cares anyway.
So why not release Book 11 on 11/11? Maybe because Nov 8 is the scheduled release date for the long-long-awaited latest "Song of Ice and Fire" book by George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows. (I'm generally less reluctant to admit I read this series than the Jordan junk, since it's more like alternate history than fantasy.) I actually ordered this thing back in 2002; the pub date kept getting pushed until settling at "When it's done", and the book began to seem the vaporware of fantasy novels. Apparently it ended up being so long (and incomplete) that Martin's publisher insisted they break it into two volumes and release the half that was ready. Here's Martin's explanation.
Finally, if you prefer Space Opera to Sword Opera, the new (also long-awaited) title in David Weber's Honor Harrington series, At All Costs, is due Oct. 25. This is also a Book 11 (minus spin-offs) for that series. And I heard there's a television series planned too. Or maybe a movie. Or maybe that was just Angelina Jolie's character in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Or maybe that was just a rip-off (sorry, an homage). Or maybe nobody really cares anyway.
(Wed, Sep 21, 2005)
Here's another of those mocking email exchanges between a hilarious wise-ass and a gullible rube. This one features "Lance, the King of Black Metal from Gary, Indiana" seeing how far he can take it with "Mathias, A Norwegian Black Metal Guy". I think it's about time somebody came up with a term for these things; how about mock-pistolary? Epistocklary? Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, this kind of thing is what the Internet is for.
(Wed, Sep 21, 2005)
My new weblog posting gizmo kicks ass. I've created a little interface for it using SWT (which was new tech for me), nice and minimal and free of advertisements. Because SWT has hooks down into Win32 I also added a system tray icon; so it's always running down there, one click away from helping me spew all kinds of nonsense onto the Internet. I even designed little artistic icons for it; they really suck, it's great (
). I call it Post Monkey. If I actually take the time to iron out the wrinkles and make it more user-friendly I'll post it up here as freeware. Probably not though.
). I call it Post Monkey. If I actually take the time to iron out the wrinkles and make it more user-friendly I'll post it up here as freeware. Probably not though.(Thu, Sep 22, 2005)
You're so lucky. 25 wacky links added to famous wackylinks list of wacky links.
(Fri, Sep 23, 2005)
Okay, due to some dissatisfaction among the artistic elite in my vast, uncompromising audience, the Post Monkey app has a new tray and app icon: 
. Everybody happy now?
. Everybody happy now?(Thu, Sep 29, 2005)
I was wrong; the worst is when you've cooked a delicious plate of food and then, while carrying it to the table, stumble, stagger, drop the delicious plate of food into the trash can. Also, I've decided that everybody on television is retarded.
(Fri, Sep 30, 2005)
This is apparently a first-annual industry awards, promulgated by something called The Book Standard. While I can understand listing, even *honoring*, the most commercially successful books of the year -- such is useful to people who's business is selling books -- claiming they "honor consumer choice" seems a bit of a canard to me. Moreover, the categorization seems artificially skewed toward inclusion of certain titles still around the top of the marketing priorities list, e.g. Dan Brown's atrocious Angels and Demons given top place in the Horror genre. Certainly the book is horrific in quality, but in genre? (Note that Brown's other terrible novel The Da Vinci Code won "Adult Fiction" -- whatever genre that is.) And of what utility is giving Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife both Fantasy *and* Science Fiction? Maybe it was the size of the kickback.