I really think there's something to my theory that N. Korea is on the payroll of Saddam Hussein. Whenever it seems like we get closer to invading Iraq, Kim Jong Il, the center of his own little universe, makes some new and even further over-the-top threat, this time warning the US to anticipate "horrible nuclear disasters" in the event of a military buildup near their creepy little half-peninsula. His rigid toy soldiers march around in circles and swear to wage "a life-and-death battle against the U.S. imperialists". His impoverished and ludicrously myopic people worship him like a god. Does he remind you of Yoko Ono? Shine on you crazy diamond!
Back in the days of yore, Mark Twain pointed out that while history does not repeat itself, it does sometimes rhyme; that is: coherent similarities between events and trends often arise. Motifs, okay? Historical motifs. (Ghosts-memes?)
Iraq, not so far from and not so dissimilar in shape to Germany, has one or two neighbors they'd like to annex or conquer; N. Korea, not so far from and not so dissimilar in shape to Japan, has a sleeping giant they keep prodding with a stick for reasons known only to madmen. Axis of what-now?
Saddam Hussein, the center of *his* own little universe, and blind even to his own personal history, remains convinced that once his "loyal" and "courageous" troops inflict the inevitable "massive US casualties", the American people will lose their stomach for war and Iraq will win "again" (re-proving for those of you who weren't paying attention before, that not every Earthling lives on the same planet).
The ace that the Axis (the other one) thought it had was the Soviet Union, which had signed a non-aggression treaty with Japan (they were old foes and tired of fighting, each fixated on a different front: Asia for Japan, Europe for the Russias, we'll settle *our* score at a later date), and shared a mutually assured ambition with the Reich (Stalin had been willing to sell whatever soul remained to him in order to get a chunk of Finland for reasons known only to assholes). That all fell apart of course and where would Hogan's Heroes be otherwise?
The question this raises though should be obvious: where's the ace this time around? Personally I'm in favor of a soft rhyme this time around.I knew it! The latest audio tape from Usamabad has the supposed voice of Usama Bin Laden predicting his own death in some idiotic suicide mission: the writers for Da Sheik have finally decided to kill him off. Assuming Usama Bin Laden was ever anything more than a prop character, he was most certainly killed at least a year ago. Afterwards, in an effort to maintain his influence over the confused masses (and avoid admitting that the US had succeeded in killing him), Usama's caveman posse attempted to create and maintain the illusion that he still lived. First there was the ridiculously amateur attempt to superimpose old video over a backdrop of Afghan landscape (which fooled only fools). Then, lacking more unreleased footage, requiring some mention of current events, or otherwise understanding the limits of their A/V skills, the puppeteers found someone who could imitate bin Laden's voice and scripted him for the release of several audio rants. Their expectation was no doubt that the US would oppugn their authenticity, thereby making their content more seductive for the intended audience, but in this they were outmaneuvered: knowing the powerful symbolism of bin Laden, the US went along with the lie and pretended to believe the tapes genuine, helping to fuel the political momentum for advancing the War on Terror. Who's the Master of Reality anyway? Silly cavemen.
Played out and growing detrimental, not attracting the ratings he once did, the character of Usama bin Laden will soon be killed off. If the cavemen can manage another high-profile attack (unlikely but not impossible), they'll subsequently claim bin Laden was among the culprits and is therefore a great martyr to the cause of killing innocent people. If such a thing happens, it will be interesting to see whether the US contradicts the claim, and if so, how they in turn will kill off the Usama prop. Perhaps they'll start releasing their own audio tapes (since Rich Little of Arabia will by then be looking for work).